Leaving

One more year, one more time, I leave. Once more, I hate it so much. I cried this morning, while I was packing and waiting for her to come back from work. She'll get half day off, which means we get to share a few more hours. We'll have the final countdown together.
How much I hate it... back to routine, back to her absence, back to work, back to nobody to hug, back to waking up early, back to her voice over the phone only, back to eat the same old food with the same old people... no more of her cutest face while she holds the chopsticks and looks at food with such a true passion :) ...
Back to enjoy the time with my friends, back to get used to not to have her, back to think maybe we are ok far apart for a few more months, back to the same old fears...
I have to lives. Each at one different side of the world. Sometimes I wish I could just take the underground and appear home, and then take it back.