Troubles

Trouble is an elegant word. Like many words in English, it's almost just one sound, it's more sound than anything else. I don't usually have the same feeling in Spanish: it seems to me I can distinguish some structure with spanish words, but English is more about sounds. Trouble.

My troubles kind of ended yesterday: most of them. I don't have to teach in a month, which means my evenings are mine again. Having time for myself makes every second of my life more enjoyable. I also kind of got rid of some thoughts and feelings that have quite disturbed me for the last couple of weeks.

I was coming back with Landiman from watching a soccer match at Torjman's place, and he was quite stressed. He wanted a joint or, more precisely, he wanted to feel something nice. When you want to feel something nice, and it's late and your day hasn't been good, a joint is always a neat solution. Just five minutes smoking, and you're done, you're fulfilled. We didn't have a joint, and so Landiman, shy, started to tell me some story he was just making up trying to justify his feeling bad, his need of a joint.

I don't believe Landiman when he pretends to be stressed because he can't find the meaning of time through physics, when he realises he will never find the answer to a problem that, apparently, is very important to the human mind. And it is, in a way, quite important. The only thing you can do, Landiman, is keep on trying, and accept frustration as a possibility. It happens to me all the time with women: I fall in love just to find dissapointment.

Anyway, that's all I can say in English. Good night, fellas.