A taste of England

I've been reading -a's writings. I love the way he writes. He has some attempts at email literature which are delicious. Here's one email he wrote in Oxford (and I go to bed, good night you all):

* * *

I love reading English signs, notices, and advertisements. In
Marks&Spenser supermarket, I saw a sign: "A Funny Little Number" on
the package of a fruit that looks a cross between an apple and a pear,
but tastes like neither. At the corner of Cornmarket and Broad
Street, I read a notice: "For your own safely, please wait until the
GREEN MAN shows up."

* * *

Last week I had guests. They refused my apples so I went to the
supermarket to buy some bread. I couldn't decide which one of the
pre-proccessed, pre-packaged, pre-cut loaves I should buy, so I asked
a nearby kind-looking lady, which one is the best-tasting bread.
"Ohhh," she said, quite puzzled, "I really don't know. I don't pay
attention to taste, I just eat it".

* * *

English often name places in quite poetic ways. In Cotswards there
are towns with names like: Bourton-on-the-Water, Chipping Norton,
Stow-on-the-Wold, The Slaughters, and the ever so honest
Moreton-in-Marsh. But my favorites are actually very close by: a
little street in Oxford called Turn Again Lane, and a lovely nearby
village named Littlemore.

* * *

Balliol College of Oxford University recently held a meeting to
discuss the way housing is allocated to its Fellows. Currently, the
priority is given to older members of the College but Fellows with
children have argued that housing should be granted on the basis of
need. At this point an old don rose up and proclaimed:
"Do we really want to reward people for their lack of self-control?"

-a.
fully in control